A Look Back Before Moving Forward

Here we go.  A new year begins, and everyone has their idea of a perfect resolution.  Maybe it's to lose weight.  Maybe it's to quit smoking.  Maybe it's to see if they can finish a pack of Oreos in one sitting.  I don't judge, because everyone is in a different place.  Some people have thought carefully about a resolution and made a plan.  It could be a matter of life and death.  Others might decide on a whim and leave it be after a week or two.  Wherever people are on the resolution continuum, I hope they are at peace with their decision.  Maybe this will be the year they drop those 50 lbs and start running 5Ks.  Maybe they rekindle a relationship with a long lost relative or friend.  Or maybe this is the year they make the most badass chocolate chip cookie cake.  The sky is the limit.

For me, the new year always brings a great amount of hope and optimism.  It's a fresh start.  I believe each year teaches us lessons, both difficult and joyful.  So what better time to start a new plan that could possibly change my life.

But to move forward, you also have to look back.  And there's a long history behind my current decision.  If you choose to read all of this, you're a saint.


A Long, Painful Road to Find Answers
When I was 20 years old, I went on a missions trip to Kenya for the summer, and while there I contracted malaria and came home with a pretty messed up liver.  After a treatment of vitamins and enzymes, my health returned to normal, but I started noticing other issues.  At first my parents and I couldn't figure out exactly what was happening.  I had terrible pain in my stomach, lower abdomen, lower back, and even my legs.  It would be so bad at times I had to miss work or class.  One night in college, my roommates called my parents, who drove two hours to meet me because I was in so much pain.  No medication seemed to help.  And this was much more than "just cramps", as some doctors liked to think.  (We'll save that stigma for anther post.)  I saw a gastroenterologist who was convinced I had Crohn's Disease.  I got to enjoy a colonoscopy at the age of 21, and I was told with a chuckle that "I had the cleanest colon anyone had ever seen".  Well congratulations to me.  What was I supposed to do now?  I was then told that I must have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and that there wasn't much I could do except "watch what I eat".  Again, not very helpful, especially for a college student.

After another year of popping ibuprofen and laying with a heating pad until I could function like a human again, I moved to Hampton, VA and saw a new doctor.  I won't blast him here, because he was somewhat helpful, but he's not my favorite person.  He was the first doctor to suspect that I had endometriosis, and he confirmed the diagnosis through a laproscopic surgery.  I indeed had scar tissue growing outside of my uterus onto other organs, and he removed as much as possible through five small incisions.  The recovery was brutal, and when my boyfriend was willing to help me through it, I realized how much he loved me.  (He ended up marrying me, so obviously I did something right.)

After the diagnosis came the next question.  How do we treat it?  How do we keep the endometrial tissue from growing back again?  Dr. So and So's answer was always medication.  A birth control pill to stop my period.  Or a narcotic to block the pain.  Or even an anti-anxiety medication to "trick my brain" into not noticing the pain.  All failed miserably.  I finally left his practice and found a doctor who specializes in treating endometriosis.  Two summers ago, she did my second laproscopic surgery to remove the scar tissue again, plus an ovarian cyst and benign tumor.  And again, the recovery was awful.  By this point, I was just hoping for some relief.  It never really came.  It took 3 months to get back to normal after the surgery, and I had "minor pain" for maybe six months.  That was the only improvement.  And then the intense pain started to rear it's ugly head again.


My Current Plan
Fast forward, and here I am.  Still in pain.  Still going through the cycle of good weeks and bad weeks.  Still having to call off from work because I can't get out of bed.  Still having to leave in the middle of a workout because my body is tensing so much I can barely walk.  Still cancelling plans with friends that I looked forward to for weeks.  And the answer is always the same.  Either another surgery, or another medication, or even....hormone therapy or a hysterectomy.  I'm sorry, but I refuse to accept that as my reality.  I want to be a mother so badly.  And this damn disease makes that feel impossible.  So for now, I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I've been reading about the endometriosis diet for months, and so many women have boasted that this is the answer they were seeking.  In a nutshell, the diet eliminates foods and drinks that cause inflammation and high amounts of estrogen in the body, which in turn allows the body to regulate and heal itself.  It makes complete sense to me.  I've overhauled my diet in the past and definitely saw improvement, but this is even more specific to my issues.  


Baby Steps
I took the first step 12 days ago by giving up coffee.  Yes, I know how many days it's been.  Yes, it completely sucked.  I was sick at the time, so I figured it was a good time to kick coffee to the curb.  If you know me, you know my love for coffee.  I drink it on my way to work.  I drink it before I work out.  I drink it before a night out with friends.  I drink it when I'm cold.  I drink it when I want a pick me up.  I drink it because it just sounds delicious.  I probably drank 3 cups of coffee a day, every day, for the past 4 or 5 years.  It. Was. A. Problem.  And the horrible headaches from withdrawal were proof.  I miss you, coffee.  And I always will.  But that's my first step in the right direction towards helping my body heal.

I'm taking today to finalize my meal plans for the week, and tomorrow I'll grocery shop and meal prep.  I'm used to making a weeks worth of meals on Sunday, so this just gives me an extra day since I have tomorrow off.  Friends have helped me out by sharing recipes and cookbooks.  I'm excited to try some new dishes as I work to clean the "junk" out.  Today, I'm keeping it simple with foods I have in the house.  I started the day with some over-easy eggs and spinach.  Thank goodness I don't have to give up eggs!

This blog will be part of my healing process.  Writing is very therapeutic for me, and it also helps me to document what works and what doesn't.  Feel free to check back as I share information and ideas.  If this helps even one person, that's more than worth it to me.

Happy New Year!!!