Dust Yourself Off and Try Again

This week was a tough one.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  It started last weekend when I came down with a nasty cold.  Sore throat, congestion, cough, and extreme fatigue.  I felt like I got hit by a bus.  I spent most of Saturday and Sunday sleeping and eating soup or ice cream.  Yep.  Not following my plan at all.  I ate what sounded good or felt better for my throat.  And I just didn't care.

The rest of my week wasn't any better.  Work ramped up and became insane.  Long days, late hours, and lots of travel.  Again, I didn't eat what I should have.  Some personal stuff happened as well, and my stress level skyrocketed.  By Friday night, I was just excited to feel healthy again, and the hubby and I met some friends out at a new restaurant.  I ordered whatever sounded delicious AND had a margarita.  Once again, epic fail.  I missed the gym again on Saturday because of a vet appointment for our dog and errands and projects for the house.  By this point I just felt off.  Way off.  Saturday night I decided I was sick of it.  I went grocery shopping to restock, and I bought only food that fits my plan.  I knew today would be my day to jump back in.

And today felt incredible!  I have no idea how, after the crazy week I had, but I managed to have an amazing workout at ROC Training this morning!  In the midst of sandbag drags, tire drags, bucket carries, hill sprints, tons of burpees and two miles of running...I never felt any pain!  ZERO!!!  Was I tired and winded?  Of course.  But I never felt like I needed to stop or couldn't handle it.  I went at my pace and it felt fantastic.  We also got to practice some grip holds, which were challenging and fun.  I'm getting so excited for my first Spartan race in April, and I'm loving that I feel better.  It gives me hope that I can go out that day and truly do my best.

I see this kind of training as a true metaphor for life.  It's difficult, and sometimes you have to deal with obstacles that try your patience, or make you stumble, or just plain frustrate you.  But when you overcome them, you feel unstoppable, and you realize that they can't hold you back.  Nothing can if you focus, put your heart and mind into it, stay positive, and lean on those around you for motivation and support.  And man, am I glad for the people I get to train with!

Today was also full of meal prep and getting things ready for the work week.  I even tried a new recipe, with plenty of leftovers for lunches.  This Paleo Caribbean Jerk Chicken was phenomenal!  I'm definitely adding it to my meal rotation.

As I sit here on Sunday night, I feel much more prepared for this upcoming week.  And I'm grateful that I had some quiet time to recharge my batteries.  In the midst of sickness and wanting to keep my germs to myself, I was able to spend time on my own in reflection, prayer, reading, and even just going for a walk with the pups.  Sometimes things don't go according to "my" plan, but sometimes it's what needs to happen for me to be right where I am right now.  

The Little Things Add Up

It's Day 26 of my endometriosis diet and hard to believe almost a month has gone by.  Most days I've followed the plan completely, but I have had a few treats here and there.  I'm definitely starting to see some majors changes from this eating plan.  It's exciting to realize that less than a month is all it takes to see significant improvements in my body and quality life.

1.  I'm definitely slimming down.  
I've only lost 5 pounds, but my clothes fit much differently.  This morning I was able to wear a blazer that was far too tight a few months ago.  Getting lean also means feeling lighter in the gym.  That might be the best benefit, especially when body weight exercises come into play.  And my muscles are starting to pop!  My friend took this back shot of me last night at Jungle Gym, and I couldn't believe the muscle definition!  This is especially encouraging since I feel like it takes me FOREVER to see any muscle on my frame.

2.  I'm sleeping better.
Most nights I can sleep through the night now without pain or discomfort.  I still have the occasional rough night, but this is the exception instead of the rule.  I also fall asleep much sooner.  I used to be wide awake until 11 or midnight.  Now I can fall asleep around 9 or 10.  I wake up each day much more rested.

3.  I barely think about coffee.
I used to need coffee at least twice a day....sometimes three times.  Now, I can drive to work wide awake and make it through the entire day without that hazy fog or need for a nap.  A cup of green tea is all I need, and some days I don't even drink that.  It's amazing to be able to move on from something that was so addicting.  Do I still want it sometimes?  Of course.  But I don't feel like I'm going to die without it.

4.  I've found a good groove of what to eat and when.
I was worried at first that with the approved foods on the list I would feel deprived, or sluggish, or that maybe I would rely too much on high-fat foods like nuts, avocados, etc.  The first week or two I ate A LOT of fat.  It helped me feel full as I was adjusting to the new meal plan.  But now I've found a good balance of protein, carbs, and healthy fats.  My typical day looks something like this:

 

I don't log my food every day, and I don't get too hung up on calories.  My intuition, workouts, and

energy level drive what I eat.  And If I'm hungry, I eat more!  I just stick to the clean, whole foods on my list and make sure I get plenty of veggies and fruit.

5. I don't have to rely on pain meds and ibuprofen.
I used to gobble up ibuprofen like candy, and there were multiple days each month when I couldn't sleep without taking a pain pill.  In the past 26 days, I've only taken a prescription pill one time.  And I barely use ibuprofen.  I still experience some pain, but I'm finding that it's more manageable and doesn't last as long.  This week in the gym, I've been able to get through complete workouts without any issues.  This is a giant step forward for me.

6. That "time of the month" wasn't so terrible.
I'll spare the details here, but let's just say it wasn't as awful as usual.  It's never a picnic, but any improvement is great.


As the first month comes to a close, I'm excited to see what other changes take place and what kind of progress I can make.  It can only get better from here!!

Singing to Journey Makes My Food Taste Better

Cooking is a big deal in our household.  Luckily Steve and I both enjoy it, and in the background we usually have some great music on vinyl.  Tonight's choice was Journey's Greatest Hits.  Crosby, our boxer pup, loves it when I sing to him.  (At least I like to believe he does.)

On the menu was my latest attempt at bringing in an "old school" favorite with a twist.  I'm a big fan of Italian food, and I was desperately craving some of that delicious comfort that only a big bowl of pasta, sauce, and mozzarella cheese can provide.  I had eggplant in the house for another recipe and started to wonder if I could do a spin on Eggplant Parmesan.  I found this recipe for Crispy Baked Eggplant, and I started to think...

This could totally be gluten-free with some tweaks!

I already had gluten-free flour from baking for a friend, and I found these breadcrumbs at Kroger.  They are definitely more course than traditional breadcrumbs, but they coated the eggplant well.  Everything crisped up perfectly, and we paired it with some baby portabella mushrooms, a veggie-filled marinara sauce, and ground chicken meatballs.  I'm so full and happy right now!!!  And I didn't even miss the cheese that would usually top this traditional dish.  It had too much flavor for me to feel like I was missing out!

That's my goal with this meal plan.  I want to do the best I can to clean up my diet and create versions of my favorite foods that will still follow the guidelines.  I'll admit, the past couple days haven't been perfect.  I went out to eat a few times with friends, and last night I watched football at our friends' house and had tortilla chips (cooked in vegetable oil) and one cookie.  But for me, that's pretty impressive.  With a choice of multiple desserts, I only ate ONE cookie!  My saving grace was bringing a homemade chili that was completely on point with my plan.  My husband gave me the idea, and I was so thankful he did.  I was starting to feel frustrated that I wouldn't have many options, but a big bowl of that chili filled me up, and I didn't feel tempted to eat all of the other foods.  Just that delicious cookie!


Every day it's getting a little easier to say "no" to restricted foods and to find ways to eat what's approved.  I still want to enjoy time with friends, and I will still go out to eat.  I can't shut myself away, but I can make a conscious effort to choose what is best for my body when I'm in situations where I don't cook for myself.


So far it seems to be paying off.  I had a rough night Friday, and Saturday I chose to take it easy and didn't work out at all.  But by yesterday morning I was back in the gym, and today I was able to give all I had to a BRUTAL workout full of squats.  Jump squats, split squats, Bulgarian split squats....and even some hexbar deadlifts too.  We worked that booty!!!  It was a love/hate relationship for sure.

Because a Girl's Gotta Have Dessert

One of the toughest habits for me to break is my love affair with sweets.  My parents offered me fudge to motivate me as I first learned to walk.  I celebrated t-ball games and straight A report cards with a trip to get ice cream.  And my mom's baking?  Don't get me started.  She used to send me care packages in college filled with the best sugar cookies and caramel popcorn.  And her pies...  Good. Lord. Almighty.  I honestly don't bake much for fear that I won't live up to her level of greatness.

Somewhere along the way I picked up the idea that sweets equal celebration, and honestly, I can find any reason to celebrate.  I developed a terrible habit of "just picking up something small" when I was out grocery shopping.  My husband and I don't keep junk food in the house, but if I eat in the car, it doesn't count...right??  (P.S.  He does this too.  Many Kit Kat wrappers have been dumped as evidence.)  I'll find a chocolate-drizzled kettlecorn or a funky chocolate bar and be convinced that I HAVE to try it.  I act as if the world is ending tomorrow and I might miss my opportunity.  And holidays or parties?  Best believe I will try every dessert available, even if my stomach is about to burst.  

The funny thing is, I always thought this was just me.  I felt like it made me a weirdo, and that my willpower was out of control.  I could meal prep, and eat more veggies, but sweets always found their way back into my "healthy" diet.  And it wasn't just once a week.  Nope.  It was almost daily.  Even my co-workers knew this, as they offered me peanut butter cups on the regular.  But as I did more research on endometriosis, I found that this is actually a common symptom.  Women with the condition tend to have strong cravings for sweets.  And the more you eat, the more you want.  I knew giving up this monster would be the toughest.  Even more so than coffee.  (Gasp!)

So I scoured my options and decided I would figure out a way to enjoy "dessert" so I didn't feel deprived.  My newest creation is one I'm pretty proud of, and it hits the spot as my after dinner treat.  

- 1 cup frozen organic blueberries and raspberries (I scoop them out while I eat dinner and let them thaw)

- 2 teaspoons of chilled organic coconut milk (Once chilled, it flakes off with a spoon and you can shake it onto the fruit)

- A drizzle of organic honey (A little goes a long way!)

Voila!  My taste buds are happy!  The berries are sweet and slightly tart, the coconut milk is creamy and feels indulgent, and the honey adds just the right amount of sweetness.  My next step is to try this blended together, because I have a hunch it could be sorbet or sherbet-esque.  For now, I'm enjoying it as a little bowl of goodness. 

The hubby and I also made some awesome Dijon Mustard Turkey Sliders and Homemade Coleslaw from our trainer's Epic Eats cookbook.  Dinner was delicious, and we have plenty for lunch tomorrow as well.  I'm finding that it's working better to make bigger dinners and take the leftovers for lunch than to meal prep everything on Sunday.  It's an adjustment for me, but I like that every day is different and more fresh.

Daily Stats:

Sleep: I had trouble falling asleep.  I was in quite a bit of pain and ended up using a heating pad and pain medicine.  After that I slept great though, and I woke up feeling much better.

Energy Level:  Great!  I didn't even need green tea in the afternoon.

Meals:  Stuck to the plan -- no problems.

Workout:  I felt pretty awful during Jungle Gym yesterday, so I listened to my body and took it easy today.  Light cardio (bike, elliptical, jogging on the treadmill) felt great.

Weight: 147.2 lbs (Down 4.2 lbs) 

But You Are Not Alone In This

With yet another snow day, and lots of time to think, I keep having the same question run through my mind.  Where does God fit into this plan for healing?  My faith is extremely important to me, and I think I felt almost guilty that I was presenting this plan like I believed I would be the one to heal myself.  That's not actually what I think at all.  For months I've felt like this is the direction I should take, but I don't think I would've come to that conclusion alone.  It's taken years of prayer, pain, doubt, and deliverance to bring me to where I am now.

I think it's human nature to wonder why things happen the way they do.  And often, we especially question when struggles or trials occur in our life.  If you've dealt with illness, pain, or suffering...or you've had to endure the agony of watching a loved one go through it, you know those questions are very real.  And it can leave you feeling alone, trapped, hopeless, scared, and abandoned.

Why am I going through this?  And why does it seem like there's no hope?  No possible way out?  

I've felt this countless times in my own life and those close to me.  It leaves me feeling defeated.  I remember nights when I was in so much pain, and I prayed to God to take this all away.  I've prayed for friends or family members who needed healing or that rescue from their circumstances.  And every time, the answered prayer comes back very differently from what I imagined.  Prayer isn't magic.  It doesn't work immediately, or in our frame of time.  And it isn't an automatic bargaining chip.  We can't promise God we will change or "do better" and he will give us our desires in that moment.  

But prayer brings me to my knees and reminds me that I can't do this alone.  And I don't have to.  I was never meant to go through this life on my own.  I always think of the song "Timshel" by Mumford & Sons...  

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

I'm never alone, because God is there with me, and he's also put people in my life who lift me up when I'm weak.  They brush me off and help me start over again.  I don't have to be strong in my own strength.  I have the strength of God within me and the support of those around me.  

But I also love the last line of this song, because I think it's the other point that can sometimes be missed or neglected.

But I can't move the mountains for you

I believe in the power of prayer, and I know that I need the help of others, but ultimately I have to take the steps to move forward.  I have to make decisions and act, knowing that I have support systems there to guide me and pick me up when I fall.  But this is still my life to live.  I can't wait around, hoping something happens to me.  And I can't make excuses and wallow in my self-pity.  It reminds me of a story I heard once about a man who was caught in a flood and trapped on the roof of his house.  I don't know the exact story, but it went something like this:

The man sat stranded for days, calling out to God.  Multiple times, people came by in row boats and offered him a ride to safety, but each time he replied, "No, thank you.  God will save me".  Then when he prayed to God he asked, "Lord, why didn't you save me?  Why did you leave me here alone?"  God answered, "I did try to save you.  You turned each row boat away.  All you had to do was step in."

So that's where I now find myself.  God has provided an option of healing, and I'm taking that step.  I'm not saying I can do it alone.  And I'm not saying I have the power of healing.  But I do believe it's within my power to make choices that are best for my body, mind, and spirit.  

Today was a day of reminder for me.  I made it to the gym (thanks to my husband's SUV and mad driving skills in the snow!) and I felt pretty terrible.  I left the workout at one point until the cramping and pain calmed down some.  And I had that same familiar question...  

Why?

I don't know why some days are better than others.  But I do know that's the first bad day I've had in a week.  It's an improvement, and it gives me hope.  And I still managed to get a pretty decent workout.  It may not have been my 100% best, but it's better than nothing at all.  I'll take it.  And I'll remain hopeful knowing that tomorrow might be even better.  

When All is Quiet

Growing up in northwestern Pennsylvania, a good portion of my year revolved around snow.  My Halloween costume had to fit over my winter coat.  I wore snow boots to school and packed other shoes in my backpack.  Only a few times did I get to enjoy an Easter dress with cute shoes and a little floppy hat.  My friends and I would spend hours watching movie marathons, eating popcorn, and baking cookies.  And of course, there were snowball fights, snow forts, sledding, and ice skating with my brother.  We had to find ways to still get out and have fun when months and months were spent buried under multiple feet of snow.  And yes, we always had school.  ALWAYS.

Here in the south, it's a different story.  Life comes to a grinding halt when a snowstorm rolls through.  The roads become almost impassible without equipment to keep them clear, and everyone becomes shut away in their homes unless they absolutely, positively must be out.  For some, this might be a nightmare, but I love the peace and quiet that comes with snow days.  The blanket of white outside is gorgeous, and the rush and busyness of life slows down.  It's like I can take a breather, with permission, and just "be".  But with that quiet comes loud thoughts in my head.  And today those thoughts are focused on my diet.  It seems silly, but today I felt sad.  I felt like I was missing out.  I wanted to bake cookies, or drink hot cocoa, or make pizza.  I wanted to have popcorn while watching a movie.  I wanted the comfort that comes from comfort foods.  And I thought back to how many years I spent that way growing up.  It's amazing how food ties into our memories.

I stayed strong and stayed busy to avoid thinking about "forbidden" foods.  I cleaned the kitchen and both bathrooms.  I scrubbed the windows that featured my dogs' nose art.  I organized our shoe closet.  I went for a walk and enjoyed the crisp, snowy air.  And I still got to enjoy some yummy food.  I just need to realize now that I'm building my own new traditions.  Like a veggie and egg white omelette, plus oats with cinnamon and slivered almonds.  And a nice, hot bowl of shrimp jambalaya after being out in the cold.  It's different, but it's still delicious.  I'm well-fed, I'm warm, and I'm happy.  It's a lot to be thankful for.

And let's talk about improvements over the last week!  The past two nights I've slept all the way through the night, I've had only minor pain during workouts, and today I was able to put my heating pad away because I haven't needed it!  And a bonus...I've lost 2.6 pounds!  All of these triumphs let me know I'm on the right track, and that makes the small sacrifices and adjustments worth it.  

So here's to a few more days of peace and quiet with snow falling outside.  I hope you find some joy in it as well.

Questions, Temptation, and Chicken Salad

Not gonna lie.  Day #3 was a little rough.  It was my first day back at work and I felt lethargic the entire day.  I also had a raging headache, which continued until I ate dinner tonight.  My workout felt miserable, although I think most people felt that way today!  It was a tough one!

I've been at this point before.  I know my body is adjusting to the detox...but man, the struggle was real.  Co-workers also offered me chocolate three different times today.  I successful declined, but I was seriously tempted to have "just one".  I know where that leads though.  Sweets are my downfall, and stopping after I start is almost impossible.  I'm looking forward to a cup of blueberries and raspberries with coconut cream for dessert tonight!

I also had a great question from a fellow Jungle Gym beast today during our workout.  She was curious about my decision to choose more plant-based options and whether I was giving up all animal products.  Some women who go on an Endometriosis Diet do adopt a Vegan lifestyle.  I unfortunately am not prepared at this point to do that.  I need a lot of protein, and I just can't see myself consuming enough from a plant-based diet.  So for now, I'll stick with eliminating red meat and processed meats.  This will still reduce the amount of negative prostaglandins I'm consuming.  The "bad" prostaglandins come from animal fats and saturated fat, and they directly contribute to the pain and inflammation I've been experiencing.


Another positive today was the AMAZING Curried Chicken Salad I had for lunch!  I made a big batch yesterday and stored it in a glass bowl so I can scoop out servings over romaine lettuce.  The recipe comes from Danielle Walker's cookbook Against All Grain: Delectable Paleo Recipes to Eat Well and Feel Great.  I also found the recipe posted here.  I omitted the carrots (I HATE CARROTS!) and also didn't have mint leaves.  For the mayonnaise, you can choose based on your preferences.  I used a paleo olive oil mayo.  If you're not worried about being strictly paleo, you can use a traditional mayo.  I found the Curry Powder mix at Trader Joe's.  It's spicy, so you'll definitely want the grapes to cool things down.  So delicious and filling!!!

Daily Stats:

Sleep: Poor.  Woke up at 2:00 A.M. and couldn't fall back asleep.  Finally got up at 4:30.  😐

Energy Level:  Very low...plus a headache.

Meals:  Stuck to the plan, but I didn't a chance to eat my oats this morning.  Definitely need to make sure I eat all my food tomorrow.

Workout:  Rough one today!  So many burpees, pull ups, wall climbs, V ups, and weight lunges!  Loved the rope jacks though.  

Weight: 150.8 lbs (Down .6)