Breaking Free

There are moments in life that might seem insignificant, but below the surface, something incredible is taking place.  Untrained eyes can miss it, and even we might not realize unless we take the time to look back and reflect.

For me, today was one of the those days.

It's Team Week in Jungle Gym, which typically means that groups of 5 or 6 people work together on various exercises to accumulate a number of reps.  The goal is to do your personal best but also support your team.  And no one gets left behind.  The group only finishes when everyone finishes.  Today was different though.  Today was an individual workout with a pyramid structure for 5 different exercises.  The rower, bear crawls, sled pushes, kettlebell swings, and burpee broad jumps.  Each exercise would increase in reps, lengths, or meters, and the ultimate goal was to complete 5 rounds in 40 minutes.

Normally, I would start panicking before I even started.  I would worry that I would be too slow or that I wouldn't finish.  Or God forbid, what if I was in too much pain or needed to stop?  But today, I told myself from the beginning...

You. Will. Finish.

The first round felt great, but by the second round I realized that adding another sled push or another length of bear crawls was no joke.  And the burpee broad jumps never got easier.  I was winded and my hips burned like fire.  But I kept telling myself...

"Just keep moving."  

One more length.  
One more rep.  
One more row.  

As I started Round 5, I realized others were finishing.  They drank water and chatted, which they most definitely earned the right to do.  And I began to feel that usual anger and disappointment with myself.  I was too slow.  I didn't finish in time.  I was in the middle of Round 5 when time officially ended.  I could've gave up.  I could've quit and walked out.  But another woman was willing to stay and keep working, and I couldn't leave without finishing as well.  I did my last round of burpee broad jumps and my 500 meter row.  It felt absolutely terrible.  At multiple points, I honestly fought back the urge to projectile vomit on the turf.  But as two friends waited with me while I finished, I felt the most amazing sense of triumph.  I collapsed on the floor until I caught my breath, but I was genuinely so happy.  I finished what I set out to do.  And I finished what my former self would've walked away from.

It was in that moment that I realized just how much I gained from not giving up.  And I also proved that I'm capable of so much more than what I sometimes believe.  This diet has allowed me to feel healthier and stronger, but the truth is, this desire to do more was always there.  It just needed to be set free.